Go, and Run No More

When I was 13, I was sitting in a service at Camp Kaleo a camp for Southern Baptist Boys known as the Royal Ambassadors. During that service a counselor played a song that he had wriiten and I was overcome, I began to cry, I felt the Lord calling me to minister through music. I sat down with my counselor and told him about this call, he prayed over me and encouraged me in the calling. I began writing Christ centered songs and formed bands and was determined that I would make a living touring in a Christian band, I have had some cool opportunities leading worship at the Georgia Baptist center, travelling to play for a youth group in Indiana, true love waits rallies, all very cool things but not what I had in mind. With a goal of being on the road at 21, this has been a hard pill to swallow since I'm looking at 25 next week. Over the years I have seen a lot of disappointment and have gotten very frustrated. Now, as I look back on life I realize I have always been looking for the next thing to come along,(sitting in God's waiting room.) I have failed to see how God is using me where I am. I let my selfishness and pride get in the way of affirmation from God when people tell me that an original song touched them, to see an unbeliever tell me she was moved during the lines " rejoice oh broken hearts, it's temporary, no need to cry your tears Jesus came and took it all away, so dry your eyes!" after losing her friend in a car accident or to have a grown man come to me at church and tell me he decided to leave his hunting trip early because I was leading the music. Honestly, these things puff my chest a little, but I realize that God is affirming me in these responses...I am not doing what I want to do, I am not on the road or the radio (or making a living) but, I am doing what I have been called to do to present the gospel through song and lead people in choruses that glorify a mighty God who is worthy of every breath. My plans have fallen through... but, I am called and I realize what that calling is and I am overwhelmed, joyous,inadequate and satisfied that I am on a journey to become what God has designed me to be, and eager to see what he has in store.